Mistresss Cathryn

She's Cruel but Fair

My interest in dominance began when I was 18 years old. I was extremely sexually assertive and enjoyed pinning my partners down while I took My pleasure. I made them say humiliating things and I really enjoyed objectifying them. I would say that most loved it. The 80s were wild and I was feral. I made my living as an exotic dancer in Phoenix AZ and toured Japan 7 times. My favorite costumes were black leather and studs. I looked the part of a Dominatrix and embodied that character. I didn’t understand My strange desires and as I searched for answers I found a Fetish/BDSM catalog for cross-dressers and fetish shoes, boots and costumes. I studied every aspect of that rare catalog and I began to understand what I was searching for. I didn’t know a soul who was into “whips and chains” but I knew it was for Me.

I ended up at the library and found the writings of the Marquis De Sade. The stories were extreme but I was fascinated. I read everything I could get My hands on including Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.

By 1989 I was ready to find a slave. At the time, a local sex rag called the Bachelor’s Beat ran ads for adults. I found a couple of subs and set about interviewing them. I ended up finding an extremely masochistic submissive and met him at a nice restaurant. I liked him right away although I found him to be somewhat physically repulsive. Looks didn’t matter to me at all. After our meeting he walked Me out and he had a treasure trove of books and magazines which he gave me on the spot. In his black leather toy bag were accoutrements in a variety I had never seen. Cock and ball toys, nipple clamps, heavy leather bondage cuffs and hardware including a full leather hood with built in blindfold and gag. he was the real deal and I told him to kiss my shoes right there in the parking lot of this restaurant. It was exhilarating as he crouched down on the ground as I commanded.

A few days later we made arrangements to meet for a play session. It came very easily to Me and he cried at the end and said he couldn’t believe it was My first real session. I found My passion for dominance. I felt like I found Myself, I felt more alive that I ever had.

Soon after I opened a post office box and ran My first ad in the Bachelor’s Beat. I remember it, “Neophyte Dominant Female”, height, weight, age, hair, eye color and interests. I listed everything I wanted to do to a submissive male. The ad instructed to write a letter, send a picture and include a self addressed stamped envelope.

Within a month I received over 200 responses in an ad where I didn’t even have a picture. I met with the most outstanding ones and practiced My new skills on them. I received gifts of clothing, shoes, boots and BDSM equipment. In a few months I furnished a full dungeon playroom with a mighty array of touchy, ouchy toys.

I began booking sessions and had a very strict protocol for meeting new clients. First was the letter and application, then a phone interview, then a meeting in person at a restaurant. I was able to find the best candidates that way. Later I got a pager and they could buzz My pager and I’d call back. I got much better at screening for subbies and everything progressed well. I was a full time professional Dominatrix in less than a year.

Through one of My subbies I was introduced to APEX, the Arizona Power Exchange and attended My first meeting and then My first play party. I was overwhelmed in the best way ever. I found My people. APEX was for My personal life, My lifestyle and My home dungeon became a party pad with my new friends who were diverse in their roles and their identities.

Soon after joining APEX I became a presenter and did demonstrations at the Monday night meetings of some of my favorite activities and techniques. Word got around and I was invited to lecture at Northern Arizona University. the sociology of sexuality class. It was very exciting to speak to young people about the lifestyle focusing on the safe, sane and consensual aspects and the dynamics of power play. I returned one more time and also presented at Glendale Community College.

Eventually I became interested in the artistic aspects of fetish and BDSM and brought My friends together to perform at a local live music club called the Silver Dollar. It was underground and gritty. It was my first time performing in public. I had a live band playing esoteric noise/music during the performance and a male sub and a female sub. It was fun af. I started doing more performances during First Friday Art Walks and introducing fetish and BDSM to the public. Turns out a lot of people were interested in what I was presenting and the venues that hosted My performance art shows were hungry for it.

I was able to organize group shows where I had multiple subbies and I had to recruit other dominants to assist. That made it more fun for everyone. In my first large scale performance art show I had 11 submissives in various states of bondage and the venue was packed with hundreds of people. The local TV news caught wind of it and advertised a feature. Unfortunately the piece was cancelled due to the erotic nature. It was My first censorship but I knew what I was doing was controversial.

At the time I was one of only 3 professionals in the Greater Phoenix Area with fully equipped playrooms We were all different in our methods and we were friends. It was a fun time. We socialized and shared clients.

As I progressed professionally and artistically new opportunities were presented to me. One of which was to pen a monthly BDSM/fetish advice column for Playtime Magazine called “Yes, Mistress”. I also became a writer for Bluefood magazine which was an alternative lifestyle and art magazine. Then came Nightmoves Magazine. Writing was easy for me and I enjoyed creating non-fiction and fiction.

The writing gigs turned into an invitation to be interviewed by a local late night radio show on KFNX. I showed up and went on the air. For funsies, on air, I called one of My submissive for a phone feature. We were having a blast and pushing the limits of what we could say on live radio. I knew that if I used scientific terminology I could say all the things, cock was penis, vagina was pussy etc. I don’t remember the name of the show or the host but she let Me take over the show. The following week the Magazine that carried My column “Yes, Mistress” offered Me the opportunity to host My own show. I said yes even though I didn’t really know what I was getting into. I had the confidence to try it and began to put together a team. I had 3 co-hosts and a live studio band. My co-hosts were Gay Ray, The Queen of Everything and the whippin’ boy. We were all friends and play partners in the scene and already had great rapport. The band I created was headed by legendary Phoenix musician, Eddy Detroit (RIP). We would cycle in different musicians and it was always fresh and fun. I invited people to be interviewed, I had a call in number and took calls live and a list of wanna be co-hosts who were ready to fill in whenever I needed. The show was titled “Playtime Afterhours Starring Mistress Cathryn with Eddy Detroit and the Live Sex Show Band”. The show was scheduled every Saturday night from Midnight to 2am. I had planned the first show to be on a strict schedule with time for everyone but after the first 15 minutes the plans got tossed and we were winging it. It was free form radio and we really hit the sweet spot. It was super fun, chaotic and we quickly got a following. The downside was the advertising. We got a few advertisers but not enough to support the show. We failed to make $$$ but we also had the time of our lives!

Between the performance art I was presenting, the radio show and the writing I came to know many Phoenix artists and galleries. This was my first introduction to fine art. In collaboration with many daring artists I created scenarios for photographic studies on the human condition regarding kink, fetish and BDSM. This was an expression that I felt very good about and it was My intention to create art that was stimulating and shocking. The results were amazing and I have many people to thank for their participation. All who were involved did so as volunteers and were generous with their time and effort.

As the 2d art progressed more mainstream galleries began to exhibit the collaborative art. The turnouts were always very good. I began to understand fine art marketing and this interest eventually replaced My professional domination sessions. In 2003 I took a leap of faith and began to represent fine artists. I had no idea that My life would go in this direction. I don’t have a fine arts education but the marketing skills I learned from being a ProDomme directly influenced My ability to grow as an artist’s agent.

Now in 2026 in my 60s I have been summoned by My deep connection to BDSM to return to the lifestyle. My particular interests are domestic discipline (spanking, paddling & caning), cross-dressing and light bondage.

I am very excited to return to the lifestyle and My focus is finding the fun! I will to be inclusive and open to creating personal connections with people that I find interesting who also find Me to be interesting and fun. It goes both ways and I’m at an age and place in My life where I have the time and desire to make healthy connections.

I believe first and foremost that BDSM play is a way to communicate, negotiate and learn about ourselves and each other. The dynamics of power exchange is a beautiful thing that brings us together. A person willing to submit to Me is a person who is willing to be vulnerable and fearless. Dominance and submission is a gift we give each other whether that is a profession connection or personal relationship.

My next step is defining the parameters of what I am willing to do and how to apply to meet Me. It will take time to go through this vetting process to determine compatibility. My next chapter is coming soon!

Much love, Mistress Cathryn